Ahhh the wonders of sibling relationships…
Wonderful and complex. To have someone by your side as you grow and shift into the person you want to become. Sounds like a dream, right?
If you’re like me, and you have more than one child, then you know that this is not always the case. In fact, it is often less about the appreciation and more about the arguments and battles between them.
With two boys, I know how the near-constant bickering and nit-picking can just drain the energy and patience right out of you! That’s why it’s so important for us as parents to establish the foundation for how to be in relationships.
When we set the example through our own behaviors, we can teach our children strong social and conflict resolution skills.
But I understand this is much easier said than done! How can we work to establish the foundation when we can hardly even gather our own thoughts during these moments?
Understand Your Child’s Triggers
One good way to start is by understanding the individuality of each child and learning what their triggers are so when a battle does ensue we are prepared. This way we can work with our children to avoid setting off each other’s triggers.
If we, as parents, can understand the underlying why to certain behaviors, we can get to the root cause and help the behavior to stop naturally instead of yelling and becoming beyond irritated when our kids battle.
And try to let them figure it out on their own (this isn’t always easy, I know). But children build their confidence and problem-solving skills when they can overcome the conflict on their own. AND – this salvages our mood as a bonus!
These are the only true lifelong relationship we are given. Our spouses come in later and our parents leave a little too early. As parents, let’s nurture these relationships the best we can for our children, and teach them how to navigate them and have respect for each other’s individuality!
I know the complexities of sibling dynamics is an everyday challenge for families with more than one child. It comes up all the time with my clients as well as in my own home.
So, I decided to create a list of 5 tips to help with sibling dynamics – all of which have helped my clients and my own family — and here it is for you to download: 5 Ways to Stop Sibling Battles.
I’ve also included these other resources if you want to look more into this topic and see how others work through this same issue.
Article: 9 Ways to Deal with Sibling Rivalry
Book: Siblings Without Rivalry
Video: Do You Force Your Kids to Share? 7 Reasons to Reconsider
I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment below and let me know your challenges with your kids. And I’d love to know how these tools and tips work for you!